Jerry To Yahoos: Get Ready For More Cuts; I've Hired Bain (YHOO)

Peter Kafka | September 24, 2008 3:36 PM

cleaver.jpgLooks like our tipster (and other peoples' tipsters, too) were correct: Yahoo seems ready to embark on another slim-down round. At least that's the way we read Jerry's latest all-hands memo, sent out yesterday, where he announces that he's hired consultants from Bain to help the company "get fit as an organization...". Valleywag has the complete text, but here's the graf Yahoos will care about the most:

i know that yahoo! can benefit greatly from more discipline among all departments and functions, across the company. longer term, getting fit now will enable us to be more successful moving forward.

Some Yahoos we've talked to insist that the memo isn't worrisome, because Jerry never uses words like "cuts" or "layoffs" anywhere. And we suppose it is possible that Bain's shape-up tips will be heavy on cardio work and squats, and won't result in mass firings. And while we're looking on the sort-of-bright-side -- if there is an AOL deal in the works, all bets are off, anyway.

But we have yet to hear of a workplace where people are happier after the consultants show up, and we can't imagine anyone but the most delusional Yahoos really think otherwise. So we figure the sanguine attitude we're getting from Sunnyvale is just a coping mechanism, now used reflexively after being beaten up almost daily for the past several years.

See Also: Layoffs At Yahoo? eBay? Everywhere?

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10 Comments

MMM said:
"And we suppose it is possible that Bain's shape-up tips will be heavy on cardio work and squats, and won't result in mass firings."

Kafka, greatest line ever! I'm dying over here!! Damn we're gonna miss ya :(
Agreed. Awesome.
Wonder how many 1000s will get the boot this time? Probably won't be as drastic as the Christmas layoffs, but won't likely be isolated, either.

Y could save a ton of money/time/effort just by shutting down Panama and rolling over to Google. Of course, then they'd have to admit that passing on Microsoft's offer to buy Panama for $1 billion was a mistake. Still, in a year or so, it will make more sense.
ajolie said:
If Jerry likes Bain so much, why not hire Kevin Rollins -- you know, the ex Dell CEO from Bain who really did did such a fantastic job of *ucking up Dell that he got a $5 mill package -- and that's for screwing up. BIG MISTAKE hiring Bain for they know nothing about innovation. I hope the Yahoos are ready for the summer hire MBAs who will be storming the halls. MBA to Joe developer: "Why do you need to test this code? What does a method do?. Can you tell me how many people search for Paris Hilton naked pictures? Wow - that many!?!"
happyhappy said:
how many yahoos can you cover with sue's salary?
CV said:
I'm thinking Office Space all over again. When the two Bob's from Bain show up at the Yahoo campus, it will be the end of the TPS reports. You should post a snippet of that movie here. It would relevant.
Trip Foster said:
not surprising given the economic outlook. Focused companies with good models will succeed, those that arent, wont.

http://life2beta.wordpress.com/2008/09/25/what-the-macro-economic-contraction-means-for-young-online-media-firms/
MMM said:
Will SOMEONE please photoshop a Yang/Lundberg combo when the layoffs are finally announced!!
Humpty Dumpty said:
I second comments from happyhappy. Sue needs to go! She created too many financial controls for a company that once was focused on bringing out innovative products. Can't be creating business cases for everything!

Long live humpty dumpty.

-- An Ex-Y!
Umm... said:
"anyone but the most delusional Yahoos"

Isn't that all who is left there at this point?


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