Dying in Indian Country

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 11:30:00 PST

During the summer I went on long, daily walks with Tonya, but other than that, I hung around the house missing Roland and not wanting to miss any call. I slept in the basement bedroom and ached for...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:05:01 PST

That spring I knew I was pregnant almost as soon as it happened. Roland was thrilled. Working as a night janitor at a downtown hotel, he even began bringing sweet rolls home for me in the mornings....

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 22:42:00 PST

In November, Cheri, having run away from her mom, showed up on our doorstep. I was glad she came to us, but once that happened, the other kids weren't allowed to see or talk to their dad...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 15:00:01 PST

I returned to his home after not too long. Later that October, Yvonne was in the hospital in labor with Bradley and needed someone to go to her house to take care of Wanda. I didn't mind helping and...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 06:34:13 PST

A man came to our door with a bike. Did Roland want to buy it? For some reason, I didn't think of my own small thievery as a real crime, nor was buying food stamps at half price, which I was more...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 14:26:01 PST

I heard rumors that Savannah had been beaten and molested by Annie’s boyfriend out near Mission. It was a rumor said in passing; it was just part of a conversation. I’m not even sure who said...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:18:00 PST

I made the mistake of taking my sister Tonya up to the reservation for ricing that year. She was about twelve-years-old. I thought I was showing her another side of life and that it would be good for...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 20:14:00 PST

When I turned twenty-one, I received an inheritance of about $2,000. We decided to blow it on travel. I paid some bills, two months rent, and gave Roland the rest to hang on to. It made me feel...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 10:55:00 PST

One afternoon a few days later, staring at the snow packed ground as I walked, I saw Roland's coat out of the corner of my eye. Looking up quickly, I was sure it was Roland standing against the wall....

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 06:32:00 PST

We fought and Roland kicked me out. I spent the night at my cousin Marion's and thought about suicide. Not knowing where to go after I left Marion's the next day, I went to the medical center's...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:52:18 PST

Roland began using marijuana again after about two years. I joined him. He always knew where to go to get it. Sometimes he got it from Shirley. Most of the time he went to the tribal housing project....

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 11:41:00 PST

Shirley’s younger brother Alvin was rapping on our bedroom window one morning. It was just around dawn. "Whaddya want?" Roland hollered groggily. "I gotta talk to you 'bout somethin'." Roland got...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

Children, and the children's children.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 20:00:00 PDT

When we returned home, I stayed with Roland. Eventually we moved into a cheaper apartment in the basement of our building. The apartment wasn't much to look at and, with only one exit, was probably...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:45:00 PDT

In April, Roland's divorce was final. Shirley told him he didn't have to show up for court, but he did anyway and sat in the back of the room and watched. When the judge asked why she wanted a...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 15:32:01 PDT

Every weekend, Roland's four children came over. In the beginning it didn't bother me, I made it my job to find fun things for us to do. But as time went on I began to feel more and more...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 07:15:00 PDT

I met the Whitebird girls - Sonya, Marci, and Julia - that fall. Yvonne Whitebird, who was Roland's sister and also Mathew and Wanda's mother, called and asked him to come after her and her young...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

Snagging? Snagging what?!

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 19:15:32 PDT

Roland enrolled in the Human Services Program at the community college that fall and we got an apartment together. Every weekend after he got out of school, Roland went after his four kids - Cheri,...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

Living in Indian Country: Wild Ricing

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:30:17 PDT

When we returned from the reservation in August, I resigned from BetterLife. I wanted to be free to go with Roland at the end of the month for ricing season. Without a job, I spent my days doing...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

Living in Indian Country: a Promise for Always.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:30:22 PST

I watched Annie pack things for Savannah and Candis to take with them to the foster home, including a few jars of blueberries she had canned. Apparently, Annie had crossed the line with the social...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

Living in Indian Country: The Rez has its own Life

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:23:37 PDT

Days were never structured; things got done when people did them. Most of people's time seemed to be spent visiting, not because there was anything special to say nor because they hadn't seen each...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

Living in Indian Country: Cass Lake

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:32:00 PST

That summer we drove up north to Cass Lake. Main Street, just a few blocks long, looked shriveled and lifeless. Although there were some tired businesses such as a grocery, liquor store, laundromat,...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

Obsession

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 10:43:00 PDT

When I returned to work a few days later, my supervisor took me aside to confront me on the quality of my work. My obsession with Roland was getting in the way of my assignments and she was...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

May, 1980 - The little girl

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:26:00 PDT

It had just turned daylight when we pulled the yellow Chevy station wagon into Cass Lake. The morning was dawning warm and sunny. Roland was driving. I had been sleeping in the front seat next to...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

Are all Indians like Rolling Thunder?

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:25:17 PDT

Roland went home to visit his wife and kids on Easter. I missed him that day at work, but he had children and it was good for him to be with them. When Roland returned, he said he hadn't had a good...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.

March, 1980. Meeting Roland.

federal_indian_policy@hotmail.com (Elizabeth Morris) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 12:45:59 PDT

I hurried down the long hallway of the treatment center toward a patient's room. As I quickly walked, two men ambled up the hall toward me. One was a staff member, the other a new patient on...

Looking down I saw a precious sleeping child, a small, dark haired girl in a pretty little dress, no more than two years old. Lying peacefully, if you ignored her bruised and battered face.