One simple truth is slowly transforming my life: there’s a reason stuff happens. There’s a reason I have bad days and good days. There are choices I make. My life is a collection of habits, piled one on top of the other. If I don’t like my life, then I need to take a close look at those habits. One or more of them could be dropped, changed, or added, and those simple, repetitive actions can create an entirely different life. One I like.

The holiday season, stuffed as it is with high-fat, high-calorie foods, inevitably leads to certain high-minded resolution lists. Those lists don’t work too well for me. I like writing them out just as a look into what goals are formulating in my brain, but I don’t take them too seriously. Lists don’t make your life. Habits do.

Healthy Food Habits: Change Is Possible

If you’re not happy with something in the food/diet/fitness/nutrition area of your life, change is simple. Change is possible. Change is made one habit at a time. Crash diets are effective only for as long as you can keep crashing, and crashing isn’t a healthy lifestyle. Drastic lifestyle changes, made overnight, tend to disappear as quickly as they came. It’s one doable step at a time.

The Steps of Change For Healthy Food Habits

1. Identify Problem Areas: Think about the area of your food life that bothers you most. Is it the junk food you eat? The fast food you resort to on late nights? The constant eating out because you can never think of something good to cook? The way your refrigerator looks either a) strangely bare and neglected or b) crammed with slowly decaying food you don’t want to eat? Perhaps it’s your lack of energy, or libido? Or the way your teeth feel after you drink a soda, or the way your head feels after you eat sugary food, or the way you feel when you don’t eat often enough? Whatever it is, it’s related to a habit in your life.

2. Identify Problem Habits: Once you identify the particular area you really wish you could change, look at the habits that control that area. This is not flail-the-witness time. Don’t be judgmental. It is what it is, and that’s okay. You don’t need to go to confession because you ate a bag of chips for supper last night. You just need to figure out what habits you have that get you to the point when chips seem like a good decision.

3. Pick One Habit to Change: Make a list of the habits that seem most influential, or the ones that most directly relate to the food area you want to change. Then, pick one habit. Just one. Don’t storm the castle, don’t slay the dragon, don’t write out two pages of food resolutions. Choose one habit. Drink water instead of soda. Drink green tea instead of coffee. Buy fruit instead of potato chips. Cook vegetables instead of bread. Eat salad instead of dessert. Plan your week’s menu instead of making it up as you go along. Shop organic instead of convenience. Make sandwiches instead of eating fast food. Stock your refrigerator with appetizing, healthy food instead of spending your money on restaurants.

Pick one habit, and do what you need to in order to drop the old and establish a new, better habit. Track your daily progress somehow: on your blog, on a food website, with a phone call to your friend, by writing it down in a journal. Review your progress weekly. If you slip up a couple of times, that’s okay. You’re learning. You’re putting a good habit into place. Be consistent with this new habit for a full month; then, and only then, should you revisit that list and decide which habit is next.

Small, Consistent Changes Can Change YOU

Change is most effective when it is small, consistent, and perpetual over time. This holiday season, don’t make yourself feel guilty for not being “better” than you are. Simply focus on one habit at a time to help yourself create a food lifestyle that is simple, sustainable, and satisfying.

[Photo from gochie]

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We may decry the materialism of the Western world’s version of Christmas, but I’ll be really honest: I like gifts. I like presents. I love seeing a beautifully wrapped gift with my name on it. I love the anticipation. I love that someone thought of me, remembered me, wanted to bring me joy with some thoughtful item.

Then I open the gift and find, oh, I don’t know, a toothpick holder shaped like a hedgehog, or a sweater in a color I never wear, or a picture frame that is completely incongruent with the way I decorate, or a box of white chocolate candy. I hate white chocolate.

Western Holiday Traditions May Need Tweaking

Misguided gift giving happens. It happens often. Sometimes it happens even though perfectly intelligent, well-meaning people (such as ourselves) think they are doing a pretty fair job of picking out presents, not going way over-budget, and having a balanced holiday celebration. Ah, the reality. If only we could step back and compare to something outside of our own culture. I’m not necessarily strong enough, or good enough, or objective enough to throw all the holiday traditions of my culture out the window. In fact, I like traditions (to a point). So my suggestion is to tweak the gift-giving tradition, rather than discard it altogether. Read on for my five simple steps to give more meaningful holiday gifts.

Step 1: Simplify The Gift List

Reduce you gift list into something that makes sense. No great-aunts and great-uncles and second cousins and friends from high school that you never really see. Are you still buying gifts for all of those people? Why? You don’t know them well enough anymore to know what they will like, appreciate, need, or hate and throw away as soon as they legitimately can. Instead of wasting your time, energy and money on a gift for someone you hardly see, spend a little extra on the loves of your life.

Step 2: Include Only Real Friends and Family Members

In other words, include people who meet these criteria:

You have a strong, current relationship with them;
You know a lot about them;
You see them on a regular basis;
And most importantly, you really like them.

Step 3: Spend More Time Thinking Than Shopping

What do most of us do when it comes time to buy holiday gifts? We run to the nearest mall or superstore and wander around, eyes glazed, mouth slightly open, purse dangling off one shoulder, ears buzzing from the muzak and the incessant cash-register beeping. We enter a shopping trance. We must find the PERFECT THING! Where is the PERFECT THING? Eventually we lose sight of the PERFECT THING and buy a lot of IT-WILL-HAVE-TO-DO THINGS.

Step 4: Make a List and Check it Twice

Brew a cup of your favorite coffee or tea. Sit down in a comfortable spot with your notebook and your simplified Christmas gift list. Then you think, and write, and maybe call up a friend or two, and chat, and drink another cup, and you end up with a list that looks like this:

• Cathy: Loves knitting and sewing and all that crafty stuff I never figured out. She’s always talking about going on a trip to Jamaica, even though she will fry like a little lobster with her fair skin. She loves cinnamon-flavored anything, apples, cheese, and really slow, soulful music.
• Brian: He just graduated with his degree in photography, but he isn’t sure now what he wants to do. He really like portrait photography but he is interested in photojournalism as well. He is living alone in his apartment now that his roommates also graduated and left and his girlfriend just moved to Seattle. I have no idea what kind of music he likes. He eats a lot of pasta - does he like it, or does he not know how to cook anything else? I know Skittles are his favorite candy. He needs new gloves; his have holes in them.

And your list will continue on, down the line, to cover the people you want to buy gifts for. You don’t have to write out full paragraphs for each person. You can brainstorm, jot down key words, draw pictures, write poetry, create collages, whatever. Have fun. Do your thing. When you get stuck, just call the person up and have a conversation. Don’t say: “I need ideas for your Christmas gift.” Just chat. Take notes while you chat.

Step 5: Be Simple and Thoughtful

Come up with some amazing, wonderful, stupendous, simple, only-you-could-do-it gift ideas from your gift notes. Forget “expensive” or “store-bought” or “perfect.” The point of a gift is to communicate love, thought, and appreciation, not dollar amount, shopping habits, and status symbols. Have a look at the gift ideas for Cathy and Brian.

• Cathy: A new set of knitting needles and a skein of that really expensive yarn she never buys for herself; or maybe a great photo-travel-history book about Jamaica (and a bottle of sunscreen!); or a big jar of my homemade cinnamon applesauce; some artisanal cheeses from that little market downtown; or a CD I make for her of great slow, soulful music.
• Brian: A pasta recipe book, or better, I’ll copy out my own best pasta recipes into a recipe book for him, and maybe include a few non-pasta but easy recipes too; a subscription to Photography magazine; maybe some movie tickets, and a big bag of skittles; or a few individual containers (frozen) of homemade chicken pot pie that he can heat and eat for dinner.

The better you know a person, the more ideas you will have. The more ideas you have, the more creative you can get. The best gifts I have ever received have always been the result of someone putting thought and time into me, who I am, not the result of someone plunking down lots of money for an item that looked pretty and shiny in the store.

Photo by: Saquan Stimpson/monstershaq2000.

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Hot Tea Blend with Honey and Lemon

Any herbal tea will do, but you get extra credit if you drink chamomile (which is relaxing and has anti-inflammatory effects) or peppermint (which contains menthol, a cough suppressant and decongestant). Heat your water to boiling, and pour into your mug over the teabag. Let the tea steep, covered, for three to five minutes. Uncover, remove the tea bag, and squeeze a lemon wedge over it. Stir in enough honey to sweeten it and start sipping as soon as you can.

The warmth and steam will help to unclog your nose. The warmth of the liquid and the honey will soothe your irritated throat. The lemon and the herbs will attack the virus cells. Drink as much hot tea as you can handle throughout the day and especially before bed, to help calm down your cough before sleeping.

Menthol and Camphor Rub

You can make this yourself or purchase it already made. It’s also easy to make at home. Use plain Vaseline or any lotion or cream and add a few drops of camphor essential oil and menthol essential oil. Blend well and rub onto chest, throat, and under nose.

Steam Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy itself is very beneficial, according to the herbs you use, and when you combine it with steam you get multiple benefits. First, the steam itself will help to clear your sinuses and any congestion. Second, the steam will moisturize the irritated membranes of your sinuses. Third, the moisture that is released will humidify the dry winter air. Fourth, the steam will open your pores and allow any toxins to be sweated out. And fifth, you get the effects of the herbs.

You can use essential oil or dried/ fresh herbs for steam aromatherapy. Simply fill up your bathroom sink with very hot water, and add the herbs or a few drops of the essential oil. Drape a towel over your head and lean over the sink, breathing deeply and slowly, until the steam dissipates.

Best Herbs for Steam Aromatherapy

Lavender - antifungal, promotes relaxation, relaxes muscles, reduces restlessness.
Peppermint - decongestant, cough suppressant, antiviral, expectorant, reduces achiness, relaxes muscles.
Ginger - reduces nausea, decreases inflammation, relieves congestion.
Lemon Balm - sedative and calming effects, relaxes muscles, antiviral.
Echinacea - boosts immune system, antiviral, antifungal.
Cinnamon - antimicrobial, pain reliever, cough reliever, helps clear sinuses.

Warm Herbal Baths

Especially great if you are dealing with a flu bug that leaves all your muscles aching and your skin sore, a warm herbal bath will help to relax your muscles and soothe your skin. Use one or a combination of the herbs mentioned above; if you have them in teabags, simple hang them under the spout of the bathtub. If you have loose herbs, tie them up in a piece of cheesecloth or other permeable fabric and hang on the spout of the bathtub so the water runs through the herbs as it comes out.

Run your bath water so it is comfortably warm, but not so hot that it will irritate your skin and cause your muscles to contract. Ease yourself into the water, get comfortable, and relax. Add fresh hot water when needed to keep the temperature comfortable. Keep the bathroom warm. When you get out, towel off gently, rub some menthol ointment on your chest and throat, dress in warm pajamas and socks, and slip into bed with a cup of hot herbal tea. Ah, health. Here it comes again.

Photo with motograf.

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My husband and I celebrated our fourth anniversary in September of this year. We just put up our first Christmas tree last week.

Not that I didn’t want one; my Mom was one of those “deck the halls, the walls, the floors, the doors, and everything in between” people. She had accumulated about ten mega-sized storage crates full of Christmas ornaments, wreaths, lights, garlands, nativities, snowmen, angels, pillows, throws, wall hangings, mistletoe, etc. She had an entire set of holiday dishes. Maybe two, actually… She even had a crate labeled “Holiday Wardrobe,” which I assume is where all those reindeer-covered sweaters resided during the other eleven months of the year.

A Family Tradition

I loved Christmas at home. Maybe we were traditional, but we loved it. At least my Mom and my sister and I did. Dad cooperated. So I got married. I moved out. My parents came to visit for Thanksgiving. We had turkey, dressing, the whole nine-American-yards. They went back home. December came. I looked around and realized I had nothing that said holiday anywhere in my possession. I went to the library and checked out CDs of Christmas music. I baked cookies. I felt better, but I wanted a tree.

Enter husband

Me: “Honey, when do you want to go get our Christmas tree?”
Him: “Do what?”
Me: “You know, Christmas tree! We have to have a Christmas tree!”
Him: “Why?”
Me: “Um…”

We had a few more conversations like the one above. I couldn’t come up with a reason that satisfied my anti-traditional, somewhat hippie husband. And we really didn’t have any extra cash to spend on a tree, lights, and ornaments. I did talk him into chopping down a three-foot-high, scrawny cedar from the woods behind our house. It was secured in a planter with rocks to keep it upright and I decorated it with one strand of Christmas lights and dried hydrangeas left from our wedding. It looked cute, but it was nothing like my Mom’s.

A Grand Inheritance

Last year, when my Mom died, I inherited all ten of those crates of holiday fixings plus the artificial tree. My sister had already accumulated her own collection and didn’t need anymore. My husband kind of groaned, but he didn’t argue. We brought home what we could fit in our car: two crates full of fake tree branches, and one crate of lights and ornaments.

I like having the tree, but I realized something. The tree doesn’t mean anything. What meant something to me was the time and the comfort of being in my home, with my family, celebrating the fact that we were together, safe, warm, and happy. That is special, because not everyone has that. A lot of people who have Christmas trees don’t have that. I do. I have it again this year with my own family. Without my Mom, but with my husband and our two children.

Creating Holiday Traditions

So I am rethinking holiday traditions. I didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on Christmas decorations, but lots of people do before they really question why they’re going to put so much money and time into optional trimmings. Traditions are great, but only because of what they mean. They are reminders, rituals, memories; they are not sacrosanct, untouchable, holy ground. This year, I have chosen to incorporate a few of the traditions I enjoy into our family’s celebration. The rest are out the door.

Next year maybe we will do the same thing. Maybe we will do something totally different. What I’m looking for is the meaning that inspires the tradition; that’s the part I want to pull out, and hold onto, and carry with me into the future. The rest of it really is just trim on the tree.

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With my first pregnancy, I watched in what could only be called fascination as my previously flat (though definitely not rock-hard) abdomen got pudgy, and then pudgier, and then roundish, then definitely spherical, then so big, round, and how-do-you-do that, it seemed like its own planet. I didn’t mind. I liked my big belly. It was holding a baby I had been wanting for a while, and I could watch my big belly move as she kicked her feet inside my greatly expanded uterus. All was well with the belly.

I’m Sure I Used to Have Ankles

But then there were my ankles. I never realized how vain I was about my feet and ankles. I mean, I have nice, petite feet, but what’s the big deal? So do a lot of other women. I do know that it kind of shocked me when I heard my sister-in-law or friend say something about having ugly feet, and how self-conscious they were in sandals… Feet? Ugly? Self-conscious? This was a foreign language to me. That’s because I took for granted that I had cute little feet, nicely shaped toes, and well-defined ankles. I took it for granted until I was around seven months along, which is just about when every bone in my foot and ankle disappeared, beneath a layer of fat, puffy, stretched-out skin. I didn’t have feet and ankles anymore. I had thighs that extended all the way to my toes. I never did like my thighs very much, so you can imagine how great I felt about their unauthorized extension.

Puffy Feet

I would take a nice warm bath at the end of the day, prop my puffy feet up on the end of the tub, and grimace. I didn’t like to see them. It was summertime, and I didn’t want to wear sandals, but I couldn’t fit them into shoes. I just hoped no one would look.

Is it stupid to be concerned about the appearance of your feet when you are nurturing new life? Maybe it is stupid, but I think it’s pretty normal. Not good, mind you, just normal. Normal because we preen and primp and emphasize everything beautiful about our bodies, and then we dream about being mommies and how special and precious it is to nurture a baby, and we don’t think about how those two realities collide. And collide they do, everywhere on a pregnant woman’s body: from the hair falling out to the nails getting brittle, (or way too long) to the expanded, spherical belly to the itchy skin and muscle aches, right to the stretch marks to the puffy feet.

It’s Not All Bad

I’m halfway through my third pregnancy now, and I’ve learned a little something about a woman’s body, pregnancy, and babies. First, they are worth it. The babies, that is. Sure, I was elated to see my ankle bones again; but it had ceased to become important after seeing my daughter, precious and perfect, cuddle up on my chest and look at me with fuzzy blue eyes. I would walk on sausages forever for that. However, knowing the outcome of the aches and stretches, and the impossible expansion of my body during pregnancy, made it easier to deal with the changes the second time. That’s because I learned something else, number two on the list: my pregnant body is amazing.

Common Sense and Appreciation

I read a lot about the process during my first pregnancy. I read even more during my second pregnancy. And now, in this third pregnancy, when I’m out of breath climbing the stairs, I think, “Hey, that’s okay. It’s simply because my uterus is above my belly button and all my internal organs are squished up like sardines in a can and it affects the way I breathe.”

Okay, I don’t think that every time I’m out of breath, but I have developed a huge appreciation for what this body of mine is capable of doing in order to protect, nourish, and bring a baby into the world. The more I understand about what’s happening on the inside and the amazing resource my body is for this baby, the more I respect what is happening. And that helps me to put up with some of the changes I don’t really understand (or like) on the outside of my body.

Nine Months Later

The third thing I learned is this: it doesn’t last forever. I have to remember that, because some effects that pregnancy has on the body simply can’t be loved. Itchy skin, for example. I don’t like being itchy, or having eczema, or having my hair fall out. I don’t enjoy feet that ache simply from carrying around 25 extra pounds all day. I don’t like getting muscle cramps in my calves during the night, or waking up at 2 a.m. ravenously hungry, or having to find a public bathroom every thirty-seven minutes. But it doesn’t last forever. One day, or night, you realize something is different. You go through the miraculous process that is birth, and your body immediately begins to recover from the stress of pregnancy. No, you don’t see it right away. You have some recovery time in there. But things start to balance out again, and one day you look down and realize that not only can you see your feet, but they actually look pretty good.

Photo by pumicehead.

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